Faith

Luddee: Brother Hasnaad, please tell us about the concept of the “un-altered” Quran.

Brother Hasnaad: Asalaam alaikum dear sister Luddee. Muslims know that the Quran has been un-altered and is in its very original farm.

Nadhi: Form?

Brother Hasnaad: Vat?

Luddee: So you mean everything in the Quran is the word of an omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient being?

Brother Hasnaad: Yes.

Luddee: And he gets angry, does he? For example, in Noah’s flood.

Brother Hasnaad: It wasn’t Nuh alaysalaam’s flood! It was Allah SWT’s flood! And yes he cursed all life on earth.

Nadhi: Even the moo moo cow and the baa baa sheep?

Brother Hasnaad: Yes! Everything drowned except the ones Nuh alaysalaam took with him on his ship.

Luddee: But what about the fish?

Superstition

Luddee: So today we have Ms.American Muslimah with us, to share her perspective on people of other faith in the cultural melting pot that is America.

Ms. American Muslimah: You know, I once went to a Hindu restaurant in my hijab… and everyone just stared me. I felt so self conscious!

Luddee: Aw, I feel for you.

Ms. American Muslimah: Oh well. Hindus are weird anyways; did you know that they think if a monkey enters their house, their business will boom!?

Nadhi: hahaha they’re so silly.

Luddee: I’m sure they think the same about the belief in Jinns.

Ms. American Muslimah: *surprised… pauses to think* Well everyone knows Jinns exist.

Bigotry

Luddee: We’ve got Geert Wilders with us today, here to talk about his love  of Muslims.

Geert Wilders: Ja! “Luve of Muzlims” ees right, because I don’t hate ze people… I only hate ze idea zat drives ze basturdz; Izlam.

Luddee: How intellectual.

Nadhi: So why do you hate Islam?

Geert Wilders: zere is something about zat ideology zat makes zem violent!

Nadhi: But most Muslims are not violent!

Geert Wilders: zen why are most terrorists Muslims? I’ll tell you why; it ees becauze terrorists are attracteed to violent ideologies like Izlam.

Luddee: Yes… yes I see your point. In fact here’s another thing; terrorists are mostly males.

Nadhi: *looks suspiciously at Geert*

Geert Wilders: But zat is ridiculous. You do not chooz to be male! Izlam is a choice. Zay are reesponsible for zis.

Nadhi: *relaxes*

Luddee: And males choose to be terrorists.

Nadhi: *looks suspiciously at Geert again*

Geert Wilders: But most males do not make zat choi… oh.