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July 17, 2008

Nadhi: Hullo everybody this is Nadhi and Luddee, back again for another interesting episode of Silsila Jahilliya.

Luddee: Nadhi darling, when are you coming to America? I positively must take you to Saks Fifth. Uff I just saw the most beautiful shoes yesterday and I said to myself I simply must have them! How I wished you were there…

Nadhi: I can’t imagine myself in that place, Luddee. Apparently it’s offensive to be called Muslim in the US, my dear. Everyone here in Karachi is happy because we don’t face that sort of thing… except for Sindhis, but that’s only because the tables have turned on them. You have no idea how it feels to have job security again Luddee.

Luddee: Yes, well… I live in America so I tend to have job security from the kind of discrimination you’re talking about.

Nadhi: Oh please. You’re brown. They’re white. You’re from a different culture, they’ll always have bias and prejudice against you. What dreams are you living in?

Luddee: I haven’t faced much discrimination here Nadhi, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Nadhi: I’ve heard from my uncle who worked there for many years that he was always looked down upon by white people! They always made it seem as if he was less than them somehow.

Luddee: Okay okay, I’m sorry for your Uncle.

Nadhi: He also said that the only difference between Pakistan and America is that the roads over there are bigger. America is not at all special, I don’t know why people go there! He’s much more happier here.

Luddee: Yeah, you know Nadhi, I remember shopping in Gulistan-e-Johar in Karachi a few years ago and a man with a long nasty beard was screaming at a mob that was about to burn the KFC there, because the Danish cartoons were reprinted in Europe.

Nadhi: Haye Allah, it’s the height of ignorance! They give us Pakistanis such a bad name I tell you! Most of us are not like that and you know it. We have a few internal differences but we’re all the same people, unlike in America!

Luddee: You misunderstand, sweetheart! The bearded man was different! He was trying to stop them!

Nadhi: WHAT!? Are you serious!?

Luddee: He was saying, ‘Dear brothers, this is not what the Holy Prophet commanded! The people who own this establishment have nothing to do with the cartoons! The Quran says we must defend the innocent, so please think about it! Are you true Muslim brothers!? Then leave them alone! Please go home to your wife and family and pray to Allah!”

Nadhi: Wow! This is phenomenal! What happened then? Did they attack him?

Luddee: No, he was able to persuade the mob – they dispersed!

Nadhi: This is the best news I have ever heard about the Muslim Ummah, Luddee! This is phenomenal! Fantastic! I told you we’re better than the racist Americans!

Luddee: (smiles)

Nadhi: … and what a great man he must be! And what a great crowd too; they listened! They finally showed maturity! oooooh! I’m so proud of them! This is a sign, Luddee! It’s a sign!

Luddee: Except that that bearded man was never there and the crowd burnt down the KFC.

Nadhi: WHAT!?

Luddee: You guys are idiots.

Nadhi: Oh.


From → Essays

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